Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous.

But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you."

So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest."

"Don't worry, Maria," says the mother," all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."

So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairylegs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!"

"Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you."

So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!"

"Stay here and stir the pasta," says the mother. "This is a job for Mama."

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.

First was a butcher, with smart wit,
using a knife, he gave it a slit,

Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole,

Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
by using red velvet, he lined it within,

Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without,

Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,

Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee,
touched it and blessed it, and said it could pee,

Last was a sailor, dirty little runt,
who sucked it and fucked it, and called it a cunt.

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.

"I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there."

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.

Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakingly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."

"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."

The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the Macaroni and chesse with broccoli."

Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner things the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves.

He returns the following week, but this time the owner see's him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back.

As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."

The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey! I didn't know that Mary worked here!"

Man out on the town goes to a dance sees a nice babe and says "Man would I like to get in those pants"

Women says "No thanks I have one asshole in there all ready"

Thanks Stephen!

In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.

When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear,everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat. Yup...gonna be a bear.


What flies down your washing line at 100 m.p.h.?
Hondapants

During a rather heated argument, Morris the husband bellowed, "You don't
deserve a man like me."

Q. What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A. A rumour.

The wife Sherry retorted, "I don't deserve arthritis either, but I got
that too."

"The attractive man I met last night insists he just wants to be friends," the girl told her maiden Aunt. "Now I know what to do with a lover, but what the heck do I do with a 'friend'?"

The wise old lady smiled and said, "The same as with your lover, dearie, only not quite so often."

Ravan ki 20 aankhein thi magar nazar sirf ek aurat pe;

Jab ki aapki 2 aankhein aur nazar har aurat pe...! Toh asli Ravan kaun??

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta.

He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

An old rich man marries a young gal.

Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?

Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of Footprints in the sand: one belonging To him, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, He looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very Lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he Questioned the Lord about it:

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow You, you'd walk with me all the way.

But I have noticed that during the most Troublesome times in my life, There is only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The Lord replied:

"My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you.

During your times of trial and suffering, When you see only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."

1. Foreplay doesn't start in the sack.

The timer for enticing does not start once you hit the sheets. Your pre-game show is best approached as an all-day affair.

Women love to be wooed. Sex is a head game -- in more ways than one -- and women want to know you can't get them out of your mind. We love knowing that we are desired.

2. Don't head south straight away.

Diving in for the genitals too soon usually isn't the best idea. A woman needs to be properly aroused before any below-the-belt action feels good.

Be sure to focus on her entire body -- head to toe -- before going for the gold.

3. Remember the clitoris.

Many men think a woman's orgasm results from penetration.

More than 70 per cent of women experience clitoral orgasm when it comes to maximum reaction, so men need to make sure they are not ignoring the clitoris.

It also helps if you actually know where the clitoris is -- some men have been known to rub the urethral opening, which can be a big no-no for some ladies.

4. Get to that G spot.

In digging for buried treasure, many guys don't know that 'X' doesn't always mark the spot. Found on the front wall of the vagina, a woman's G spot may be a little higher or lower, or more to one side than the other, than often depicted.

5. Don't be too goal-oriented.

There is nothing more endearing than a man who wants to play. Just don't get caught up in yourself. Your sexual exploration should be playtime for two.

Stay 'present' in the moment -- connecting with your partner will bring the ultimate climax for both of you.

6. Thinking you're still hot after gaining weight.

'For better or worse' should include weight fluctuations, but don't let yourself go completely.

7. Let her be naughty.

Sometimes she needs to get in touch with her adulterated side. In fact, research has found that women are more aroused by explicit fantasies than romantic ones. It's not always about the prince on a white horse or canoodling on the beach.

8. She's not a porn star.

As seen in porn films, many men expect their lovers to fulfill their every fantasy. Remember that porn is fantasy, not reality. Expecting her to act like a porn star is simply not fair.

9. And men aren't supposed to look like porn stars.

Despite what XXX-rated films indicate, most women are not lusting after a three-legged man. Maybe some women are up for the challenge, but many are fine with the guy who fits within the norm. Don't be too hard on yourself for being just that.

10. One orgasm is not always enough.

Women are not as quick to come down from their aroused state as men are post-sex. Many can be launched right back to bliss, and many women do crave more action and orgasms, even if they were perfectly satisfied the first time round.






TAKE A LOOK AT THE PICTURE.

WHAT DO YOU SEE? 

CHECK THE EXPLANATION BELOW. 

YOU'LL FIND THIS VERY INTERESTING.
 




 
You saw a couple in an intimate pose, right?

Interestingly, research has shown that young children cannot

identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory

associated with such a scenario.

What they WILL see, however, is the nine dolphins in the picture!


So, I guess we've already proven you're not a young innocent child... now...

If it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 6 seconds, your mind is indeed corrupt and you probably need help.








ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

 

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

 

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

 

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife

.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

 

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

 

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

 

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

 

DISCUSSION T! ECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 

 

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.



Airfox






How can you tell if a blonde has been using a computer?

 

There's white out on the screen!

 

Identifying Cars

Jim was annoyed when his blonde wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn't gotten the license number.

 

"What kind of car was he driving?" he asked.

 

"I don't know," she said. "I never can tell one car from another."

 

At that, Jim decided the time had come for a learning course, and for the next few days, whenever they were driving, he made her name each car they passed until he was satisfied that she could recognize every make.

 

It worked. About a week later she bounded in with a pleased expression on her face. "Darling," she said. "I hit a Buick!"

 

No Sleep

An exhausted looking blonde dragged himself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my  neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't  get a wink of sleep."

 

"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some  new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these  and your trouble will be over."

 

"Great," the blonde answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."

 

A few weeks later the blonde returned, looking worse than  ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than  before!"

 

"I don't understand how that could be", said the doctor,  shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the  market!"

 

"That may be true," answered the blonde wearily, "but I'm  still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally  catch one it's hard getting him to swallow the pill!"

 

The Postman

It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the post through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

 

When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift check for $500.

 

At the second house they presented him fine Cuban cigars in an18-carat gold box.

 

The folks at the third house handed him a case of 30-year old Scotch whisky.

 

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

 

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where the blonde fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, tomatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and freshly-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a $5 note sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

 

 "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the five dollars for?"

 

"Well," said the dumb, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you".

 

He said, "F*** him. Give him five bucks."

 

She smiled prettily. "The breakfast was my idea."





There was once a little bird who decided to rebel against tradition,
and when it came time to fly south for the winter, he decided to stay
behind. All the other birds flew south for the warmer weather, leaving
the rebellious one alone.

Of course, it wasn't long before the little bird discovered he had
made a terrible mistake. Winter set in and it became very cold. So, he
decided that he had better take off and fly south like his friends.

He started flying, but didn't get very far before the cold north wind
began to freeze his wings, and he went plummeting down, down, down ...
He fell straight down from the sky, through an open hole in the
rooftop of a nearby barn, and directly into a fresh pile of cow dung.

Well, the warmth thawed out his wings, and soon he was feeling fine
again. But, as his little head popped out from the smelly dung, along
came a cat who plucked him up and ate him.

Moral : Whenever you end up in a pile of DoDo it may not necessarily
be a bad thing, and everyone that comes to pull you out of your DoDo
may not necessarily be a good thing.

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had phoned in sick one day.

Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialled
the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's
whisper.

"Hello?"

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an young :), the boss asked, "Is your
Mummy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss
asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss
asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Mummy and Daddy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter
through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that
noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed
the hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are
they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle:


"ME."

~~~~~~~~

5+5

Posted in

Son to sardar : Papa, 5+5 kiney honde ae?

Sardar : Ullu de patte, gadhe, idiot, nalayak, besharam, haram khor,
tujhe kuch nahi aata.

Jaa andar se calculator lekar AA.

~~~~~~~~~

Girl : Bus bhi karo AB!
Boy : Kuch bhi nahi hota!
Girl : kisi NE dekh liya to?
Boy : kuch nahi hoga bus sedhi raho aur thora khol kar rakho!
Girl : bus bohat hogaya AB mein thumain nahi karne dongi
Boy : please thora as aur karne do!
Agar aaj paper na kar saka to mein fail ho jaonga :p

~~~~~~~~~

2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.

Sardar1: Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case.

Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760

~~~~~~~~~

Sardar proposed a Girl......

Girl said I'm 1yr elder to you...........

Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.

~~~~~~~~~



MUNNA:
     Munni woh din yaad karo,
     Jab Hum-Tum saath Nahate thhe.
     Tum Choot pe Saabun malti thhi,
     Hum Lund pe Jhaag udaate thhe.
   
   
   
     MUNNI:
   
     Munna woh din beet gaye,
     Ab Choot chhupane ki hai baari,
     Bhoolo un beeti Yaadon ko,
     Munni Bharat ki ab hai Naari.
   
   
   
     MUNNA:
   
     Munni woh din yaad karo..
     Jab Hum Doctor-Mareez ban jaate thhe.
     Dil ki dhadkan check karne ko,
     Choochi pe ragad lagaate thhe.
   
     MUNNI:
   
   
   
     Munna who din beet gaye,
     Ab choochi choli ke andar hai.
     Ghoor-Ghoor ke dekh tu Mammey,
     Ab Tu bhookha Bandar hai.
   
   
   
     MUNNA:
   
     Munni who din yaad karo..
     Jab Hum-Tum saath mein Sote thhe,
     Tum Choot mein Kheti karti thhi,
     Hum Lund pe ganne bote thhe.
   
   
   
     MUNNI:
   
     Munna woh din beet gaye,
     Jab Choot mein hoti thhi Kheti.
     Ab Lund ki faslo ke darr se,
     Meri Choot akeyli hai Soti.
   
   
   
     MUNNA:
   
     Munni woh din yaad karo...
     Jab luka-chhipi khelte thhe Hum.
     Tum Lahanga pahan ke aati thhi,
     Aur usme chhup jaate thhe Hum.
   
   
   
     MUNNI:
   
     Munna woh din beet gaye...
     Jab ghus gaye thhe tum Lahange mein.
     Ab tum poorey Bhaaloo ho,
     Aur Shahad ka chhatta Lagange mein.
   
   
   
     MUNNA:
   
   
   
     Munni woh din yaad karo...
     Jab Saath mein khele thhe Holi.
     Choot mein ungli daali humne,
     Bhigaa ke teri wo choli.
   
   
   
     MUNNI:
   
     Munna wo din beet gaye...
     Ab choot humaari pyaari hai.
     Kyon Holi ki baatein ab jab,
     Lauda tera bhikhaari hai.
   
   
   
     MUNNA (Rote Hue!):
   
     Munni woh din beet gaye
     Sachmuch hee woh din beet gaye.
     Ab Choot ki Darshan ki khatir,
     Hum Choot-Chalisa padhte hain.
     Par Choot naheen Darshan deti,
     Hum Lund ragadte rahte hain.
     Par waqt Humaara aayega,
     Jab hum bhi tum ko chodenge.
     Tum lund-lund chillaogi,
     Hum choot mein Danda pelenge.
     Munni Munne ko kam na samajh,
     Yeh teri maiyya chodega.
     Tu phuddi pakad kar royegi
     Teri choot mein bamboo thokegaa.
     Munna bhi hai Bharat ka,
     Tujhko Nanga kar dega.
     Tu lakh jod lena tango ko,
     Teri choot ko who to  choosega.
     Tujhko poora geela karke,
     Munna lund andar ghusaayega.
     Choosega tere honthon ko,
     Choochi teri chabaayega.
     Tu cheekhegi, chillayegi par,
     Koi naheen bachaayega.
     Ragad Ragad ke Munna lega,
     Apni tujhe banaayega.


  
 

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.

The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.

Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.

And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE"

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab.

Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Ek kabuter NE sardar te bith kar diti,

Sardar : ye teri maa NE tenu kachha pana nai sikhaya?

Kabuter : saaley TU kachha pa k karda aein?

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

A sardar was drawing money from ATM,

The sardar behind him in the line said,

"Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****)."

The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258
"

 

~~~~~~~~~

 






Funny one

 

In the post-match presentation, Ravi Shastri to Dhoni "Congratulations to you and the whole Indian team for winning this world cup. You guys have produced a great nail biting show... and deserve the cup. We welcome you to share the joy with us."

Dhoni "Thanks Ravi, the match was pretty close encounter between two great teams and our guys held the nerve to win the game and cup."

Shastri, "Who was the main reason for this thrilling victory?"

Dhoni, "All of us played well but I would say the main reason and man behind this great victory is Ajit Agarkar"

Shocked Shastri..., "Agarkar? How come Agarkar... he didn't play in the final"...

Dhoni, "Yeaph... That's the reason we won this low scoring match.. if he could have bowled in final, Pakistan would have scored the winning runs from his 4 overs.... "

Shastri, "ok... fine, to whom you want to thank for winning this final..."

Dhoni, "The team doctor deserves the credit... he really helped us to prepare for the final..."

Shastri, "Is it??.... How the doctor helped to prepare for the final...

He is not the coach or physical trainer...Dhoni... I am getting confusion"

Dhoni, "Ravi... nothing to confuse... he has failed Sehwag in the fitness test according to our game plan and we managed to pick a good playing team. Thus we weigh the doctor's contribution as very high...

Infact its better than our team effort in the field... Our game tactic worked well"

Shastri, "To whom you want to dedicate this World Cup?"

Dhoni, "The entire team including myself wants to dedicate this cup to Sachin, Dravid and Ganguly... "

Shastri, "I really really appreciate you... its good that you have so much respect to the seniors....and you ...." Dhoni interrupts....

"Ravi... let me complete... India would have exited in the Group matches if Sachin, Dravid and Ganguly decided to play in the series ... thank god they opted out and we managed to play cricket and won the cup.."

Shastri, "The match was thrilling encounter and was concluded by a single mistake of Misbah.. Isn't it? "

Dhoni, "Yes you are right, after lofting the ball Bisbah told me that he has send the ball to where there was no one....but he didn't know that There is a Malayali in every corner of the world.... This single mistake has cost the game and we won the cup..."

Shastri faints and Dhoni receives the CUP and thats the end of the great Twenty-20 world cup...

In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (freshman), raised her hand and asked, "If I understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in male semen, as in sugar?" "That's correct." responded the professor, going on to add much statistical data. Raising her hand again, the sweet young thing asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?".

After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl turned bright red and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said(or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of the class, and never returned.

However , as she was going out of the door, the professor's reply was a classic. Totally straight- faced, he answered her question, "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat!


 
Never marry a Testing girl since she always doubts U .

Never marry a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a
UNIQUE key.

Never marry a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things
and EXIT from house.

Never marry a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.

Never marry a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.

Never marry a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.

Never marry a UNIX girl ,she always dump u with a core.

Never marry a PASCAL girl ,she always scolds u as rascal.

Never marry a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of
families.

Never marry a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles.

Better marry a girl not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY

MARRY A GIRL FROM A "HARD"WARE FAMILY


 

 

Smart Sardarji:
A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.

The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "your turn".

He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.

The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.

 

 

 

 


Lessons on Life

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge
things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look
at a pear tree that was a great distance away.

The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in
summer, and the youngest son in the fall.

When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe
what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.

The second sons said no it was covered with green buds and full of  promise.

The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so
sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.

The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping
with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they
had each seen but only one season in the tree's life

He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season,
and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come
from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons  are up.

If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring,
the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.



Moral lessons:


Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.

Don't  judge life by one difficult season.

Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come some time or later
 

 
 

""Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, Live the life you've imagined.""

The following pictures are of the same place but taken in different seasons...

 

When I was born, I got a choice-

A big **** or a good memory.

I am not able to remember, what did I choose.

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

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There are only two   four letter words that are offensive to men –

 Don't and Stop, unless they are used together.

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Panties
r  not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.

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There are three stages to s*x in a person's life:

 Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try We akly.

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A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the Hole and She was happy with the
Thing......

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Do infants enjoy infancy as much as younger enjoy adultery?

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Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

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Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

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Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.

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Teacher: Use "harassment" in a sentence.
Johnny: Her mouth said 'no', but her a*s meant 'yes'.
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Q: What's the difference between a bit*h and a wh*re?
A: A wh*re sleeps with everyone at the party and a
     bit*h sleeps with everyone except you.

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Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ?
A: Bre*sts don't have eyes.