Come here, take of ur pants & under wear, get on the top of me.
Enjoy until u get satisfied..

Lovingly urs-----, "

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------------ TOILET".

Do not play with street dogs,
You may get rabies.

And Do not play with smart boys,
You may get babies... ;-)

See , how people write leave Applications.

It's murder of English language. But Too Funny.

Just Read It.




The Leave Applications;)

Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:


"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave."



This is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:


"as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."


Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:

"as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.."


From H.A.L. Administration Dept:

"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave."



Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:

"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave"



An incident of a leave letter:

"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."



A leave letter to the headmaster:

"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"



Another leave letter written to the headmaster:

"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day."


Covering note:

"I am enclosed herewith..."


Another one:

"Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below..."


Actual letter written for application of leave:

"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

Nike Condoms: Just do it.

Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.

Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.

Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.

Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.

Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack condoms: Ten million strong and growing.

Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its that simple.

Ford Condoms: The best never rest.

Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.

Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?

New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey-- you never know.

California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?

Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.

KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.

Coca Cola Condoms: Always a Real Thing.

Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.

Cambells Soup Condoms: Mm, mm good.

The Carl's Jr. Condom: If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face...

General Electric condom: We bring good things to life!

AT&T condom condom: 'Reach out and touch someone.'

Bounty condom: The quicker picker upper.

Microsoft condom: where do you want to go today ?

Energizer condom: It keeps going and going and going....

M&M condom: 'It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!'

Chevron condom: use them? people do.

Taco Bell condom : get some; make a run for the border

MCI condom: for friends and family

Double Mint condom: Double your pleasure, double your fun!

The Sears latex condom: One coat is good for the entire winter

Delta Airlines travel pack condom: Delta's ready when you are

United Airlines travel pack condom: Fly United

The Star Trek Condom: To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before

Wendy Condoms: Where's the beef?

Denny's Condoms: $1.99 Grand Slam

Mazda Condom: It Just Feels Right!

Maxwell House: Good to the last drop!

McDonalds condom: Over 99 billion served

Hewlett Packard condoms: Expanding Possibilities

Burger King condom: Have it your way

Dairy Queen condom: We treat you right

AOL condom: So easy to use, no wonder it's #1

It can be up or down.  It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.

In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species.

Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.

It has no conscience and no memory.  Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before.